Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
