Can i not drive my cunt home
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize