I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
Randomize
