My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
what is it with giant penises always finding me
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
Randomize
