why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Randomize
