I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
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