I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
he told me I talked like a deaf person
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
Randomize
