he shaved USA in his pubs
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
Randomize
