sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
