You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
