to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
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