its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
Randomize
