her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
The best walk of shames are on the highway
Randomize
