So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
Randomize
