also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
I am one with the molecules
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
Randomize
