I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
Holy shit dude........stairs
Randomize
