You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
Randomize
