I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize
