I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
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