names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
Randomize
