I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
splinters make it hard to masturbate
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
Can you repeat that, but with context?
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
Randomize
