i need an iv and a liver transplant
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
Randomize
