Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
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