We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
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