Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
This can only be settled by a dance off.
Randomize
