we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
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