Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
it's like heaven, but drunker
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
Randomize
