so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
me + whiskey = a bad person
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
Randomize
