is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
I just got carded by a ten year old.
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
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