At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
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