you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
My mom is pretending to be Paula Deen while making breakfast...I'm pretty sure she's sober.
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
I was not drunk enough for that final.
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
Randomize
