She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
I got drunken sympathy for the whales' plight last night and signed up to give $50 monthly to Greenpeace. Calling to cancel was worse than the hangover.
Hear that? That's the wail of a dying whale. Murderer.
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
Randomize