just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
Randomize
