you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize
