A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
Randomize
