You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Randomize
