I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
Randomize
