You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
Randomize
