i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
Randomize
