I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
Randomize
