oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
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