is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize
