Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
I just realized I haven't looked at our horoscopes lately. If mine says anything about tweakers, I'm burning my phone.
Oh shit oh shit oh shit.
BURN THE PHONE.
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
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