Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
