I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
I think we might need a safe word for this...
Randomize
