Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
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