If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
last night I used snow as a chaser
Randomize
