So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
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