with your own penis?
This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
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