You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
I wish life had little blips of pornography
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Randomize
