girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
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