i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
Randomize
