I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
Randomize
