yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
You sent me a very drunk love letter
Was it the one about pterodactyls?
I was disappointed I thought you actually loved me
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