Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
I won't apologize to a one balled man
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
