How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Randomize