...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
Randomize
