i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
Randomize
