a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
Randomize
