I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
Just got hit on by a 50 year old Englishman who is now swapping drunken racing stories with my mom. Live Mariachi band in the background. How's that for a wake?
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
Randomize
