You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
Randomize
