Soap is not a condiment
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
I think i got beer on your cat.
Randomize
