and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
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