So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
I don't know, Alex. I don't know. I lost my keys, my debit card, my makeup bag, broke my purse, had to have someone cut my shoe off, I have no idea where my costume is. I woke up next to the biggest douchebag I know and made out with this other guy while SIMULTANEOUSLY talking on the phone to the guy I'm talking to...
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
