I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
Randomize
