will power is for people who don't want to get laid
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
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