next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
The convent might be a nice break from real life
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
Randomize
