just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
Randomize
