I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
Randomize
