Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
Randomize
