I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
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