My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
FUCK WHALES
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
Randomize
