the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
Randomize