do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
Randomize
