I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
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